I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you have done some pretty shitty things to other people. Yes, you. Sure, you don’t see it that way, because we’re all the heroes of our own stories, but it’s true. I know it’s true because you’re a human, and it’s about 99% certain that you are not in fact better than other humans. None of us are really.
Lots of people have thoughts about how we develop compassion for others. Is it something we’re born with? Something we learn from our family or community? I suppose that’s true for some people. It wasn’t for me. My family, my community, were some pretty self-righteous assholes. I don’t think I knew anything at all about compassion until I began to realize what a self-righteous asshole I was… that was it, that was the moment.
I honestly don’t know if people can really understand and have compassion for others until they know how unworthy of compassion they themselves are. It’s easy to judge the fault in others when you can see no fault in yourself. But when you know your faults, when you can trace a straight line from those faults to the events of your life, and see that you _could_ have chosen to be better, then you have to deal with your responsibility, accountability, and guilt. Then, and maybe only then, you’ll understand the gift of compassion you’ve been given by others.
That’s a thing that might be worth considering as you scroll though the various psych 101 Facebook memes talking about how you don’t have to let go, you don’t have to forgive, you don’t have to keep that person in your life or whatever other “feel good about you because they are EVIL” BS is floating by. Because right now somebody is thinking about you, and how you broke their heart, did them wrong, caused them trama, and blighted their life.
And they might just be right.
Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know 