G D C Here in the Western Kingdom D G We're inclusive as can be C We'd never rain on your parade D G Just 'cause we don't agree C G There's lots of ways to play this game D G We want you to have fun G G We'd never tell you what to do D G D Or what should not be done
Now if you are of the Nippiness Well that's alright with us We'll let you be a Samurai And we'll not make a fuss Sure western Europe's more our style But you're fee to play your game We'd never want to hem you in 'Cause it's really all the same
Chorus C But ban the fencers G 'Cause they're all hopeless thugs and thieves D C They're dangerous to brightly dressed G D G And recreating sleaze C Lets ban the fencers G 'Cause they don't know right from wrong D C And if you should see to disagree D G D Then you'd best move along
And if you don't like costumes And sewing is a bore Just come to court in worn out jeans We'd never ask for me It's more important what's inside Than what you won't put one We'd never tell you differently 'Cause that would just be wrong
And if you are of the Mongol horde You need not come to court What does that matter anyhow With you will still consort And you can call us Chogwah 'Cause that just means "not tribe" We're mindful of your hopes and dreams Which we would not deride
Chorus
And when it comes to music Just play what ere you will Beetles filks are quite alright We never get our fill Don't worry about those period songs Or about the way their made We'd rather hear the raunchy ones About the girls you've laid
So if you ever come up to the West You know we'll treat you right We'll party 'till the cow come home And howl at the moon all night We'll tell you "Welcome to the West Now please take off your clothes" But leave those rapiers behind We won't put up with those
Chorus
Yeah ban the fencers Who are they to act like knights And that white scarf just makes me barf We'll soon put things to rights We're gonna ban the fencers 'Cause they don't know right from wrong And if you should see to disagree Then you'd best move along
Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know 